The Fireside Tellings

I remember I put myself in this place
I remember these choices have all been mine
and the fault lies with no one but me.
When I begin to feel the fear and pain clutch my heart
I stop myself from crying and being afraid anymore
because nothing is worth it anymore.
I put on a smile and force my head up higher
and never let that stop my feet from moving forward.
No one may ever know me, even as much as I wish for it
but I've come to accept that and the pain that it carries.
The chains that have been since before I could remember
the days when I didn't feel so heavey.
When I feel like there is no one who will ever know me
I remember that I can only blame myself
and I'm okay with those scars and those pains and those crosses.
I'm okay with knowing that everything comes back to me,
and I'm okay with never letting that drop.
No one will ever know me, and I'll never know myself
and I feel safe and happy like that.

On a long and lonesome highway, east of omaha.
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song
You can think about woman, or the girl you knew the night before,
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do.
When your riding sixteen hours and theres nothing much to do
And you dont feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through.
Say, here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Well you walk into a restaurant, strung out from the road,
You can feel the eyes upon you as your shaking off the cold
You pretend it doesnt bother you, but you just want to explode.
Most times you cant hear em talk, other times you can.
Oh the same old cliche, as that woman on her a man
You always see my number, you dont dare make a stand.
Here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Out there in the spotlight your a million miles away,
Every ounce of energy, you try and give away,
As the sweat pours out your body like the music that you play.
Later in the evening as you lie awake in bed,
With the echo from the amplifiers ringing in your head,
You smoke the days last cigarette, remembering what she said.
Now here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page.
Here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Ah here I go, playing star again.
There I go, there I go.

Thank you Bob Seger.

Prompt: Headline #1
Title: " Giant Fly attacks Norway! "
Notes: So this is something that I had just thought of.... but I dont really have any thought put into it. It's just omething I wanted to try to write for fun.


Today it was reported that a fly
bigger than a house was seen
doing what flys have always done best!
No one knew what to do
and Norway was the first who saw this
a miracle of ife that no one could believe.
It sucked up the rivers
and rolled in the sugar fields
and no one else believed it
But the other giant flys in Norways!

Well, like I said, I got this thing in my mind, and I figure since my school is going under, I might as well try to get while the getting is good, you know?

I know how dumb that sounds, but they are jumping us around (class wise) And I feel like my education is getting compensated for it. So, whatever. I can suck it up and pack my bags and admit when I've been beaten. Maybe, I'll wait till July, maybe I wont. I dont know about that. I'm gonna talk to one of the colleges here in a couple days so I will have an idea from there. It will kinda suck leaving this school, cause t is alot of fun for the most part. But... I dont think Ican, you know?

I hope dad doesnt think I'm doing this just to be closer to the family. Yes, it would be nice, but I want toget a good education. Thats what I have been lookng for. So... Oh well, it's gonna suck if this doesnt work out, but if it does, it's cool. I jst hope that it does. I would like to stay here in all honesty, but I know how improable (Spelling?) that is.

Eh, I guess this is life. One I figure out whats going on I'm gonna call up my old work and see if they wouldnt mind hiring me again. Waitressing was good money.

~Sara

So, one of my crabys died a long time ago. Couple days really, Lol. Nothing else really.

Umm, lifes been interesting really. But, not much else has been happening. School is school, life is life, nothing else really. Been watching Buffy so much its driving me crazy.nothing else to do though, which sucks.

So, I have some fish now, and two crabs as well. I basically gave the fish to the girls (my two roomates) and i kept the crabs for myself. I call the Crabs Big Red and Juicyfruit. I call them that mainly because of the fact that one has big red claws and the others class are smaller. I think Big red is a male, and Juicyfruit is a girl.

The two fish are Oscar and Zippy, and they are both angelfish. One is all black and the other is a goldish color, but they are both pretty.

Lol, so my day has been that boring. Nothing much else going on

LAter
~Sara

Rawr, So I've been trying to write more and more in Prompts, like, doing the exercises that are put in there, because it is stuff that I might be able to do, but because its from someone elses point of view, I dont know how challenging it is. I also realized, that I'm crazy.

Yes folks, Sara has left the building, lol! I was talking to myself, alot, about our next door neighbor, Killer. I dont even know if that is his name, but whatever. Lol. I just keep my mind busy right now cause im SOoo bored.

IT sucks having no cable, but on the plus side, I'm gtting in a ton of exercise! Lol.

Meh, I'm bored, and very concerned about my Josh.
~Sara

I'm sick. Bah!

Otherwise, I'm still broke, Lol!

Going back into bed to get over whatever this is.Lol

~Sara

Eh, I cant seem to get my mind to focus. I kept on wondering about all these stupid things I've done. If my life would have turned out any differently if I did do anything differently, or if people did believe me. It's kinda ironic, and in a twisted way I have to thank you (my cousins) cause if it wasnt for your "sacrifice" I never would have turned out to be the person I am today.

Amazing how life is?

Eh, I noticed I just suddenly got a little cynical. I guess I will keep it down for now. I feel bad anyways being this rude to people.

Meh, I guess I'm just thinking to hard again.

~Sara

Well, I feel a little out of it today. Probably cause of last night, but its okay. I stabbed myself on accident in my leg too, which hurt. ALOT!

I wasnt worried about it till I started to bleed through my jeans and because of the chemicals and things we are working with, especically with the epoxy, I didnt want it to get infected. So I put a bandaid on, but its still deep. Luckly its not wide though.

Lets see, so I'm ahead of the class with the projects we're suppose to have done this phase. All that's left for me to do is I still have to go out to the 727 to do three projects out there, and then I have to do the hot wire airfoil cut, and then I have to cut my carbon fiber disc in half to show there are no air bubbles in it, and then I have to install a fastener into my kevlar block, an then cut that diagonally, and I believe that it is. And, today is only the 9th day of the phase. So I'm going to get so bored later.

I've already started to make stuff in this class, and it is SO much fun! I'm going to be finishing up my coasters tomorrow, which will look TOTALLY awesome. Their about four by four inch coasters, and they might be about a quater of an inch think. I only made three of them, but I might make four. I dont really know. Lets see,what else? Oh, I'm also making this cool little bedside stand for my cell phone, and I'm thinking I might work on making a chess board with fiberglass and carbon fiber. I'm a little more unsure about the chess board, but I might. Then.. I dont know what I'll do, to be honest. Any ideas? Lol, I'm hopeless I know.

I love you so much Josh! I dont know if you have even seen my new journal (this one) But I love you so much. I hope you are thinking of me everytimeI'm thinking of you, though I do think its kinda funny today. cause not even five seconds before you text me asking me if I was okay I had just stabbed myself. Lol, I'm such a retard I know.

Eh, I'm gonna rest some, and be bored. Nothing much else to do!

~Sara

Yay! so this thingy adapted, so anways, not alot to say.

I just really cant sleep tonight. Sometimes it happens, othertimes it doesnt. OR something like that. I dont really know how ot add on much more to that then that. yea, I am a little tired, but thats okay, I will be fine. God, I want to get married so bad. I miss my Josh. He is all mine and I miss hm, but I know that would be one thing i would have to deal with when I wanted to move out here. So I'm dealing with it. Maybe not to tell, but I'm okay. I'm not doing anything bad or anything. Ugh, I'm gonna hate having a roommate on nights I cant sleep. I hpe the girl doesnt mind sleeping on the couch, cause I have senioirity.

Well, not alot has been going on here. Still looking for a job bt today after school me and Stormy are gonna go and talk to some places. god I will do almost anything, I'm not kidding. I hate not having money, but then at the same time when I have it I dont know what to do with it.

Maybe this sounds strange, or maybe its me, I'll never know, but why does it seem like I'm really good at screwing up everything I really want to do? Eh, I dunno, it seems random I know, but its part of how my mind works. By the way, at five thirty in the morning it is nine degrees outside without a windchill. thats gotta suck cause in one hour and a half I'm leaving for school. Boy I hope it gets warmer by then.

So, I dunno.. I have something heavey on my mind, but I dont want people to judge what I'm going to say. Hard to ask, I know, but it's true. So, here it goes.

A good friend of mine, Kori, is in a jail. Now, I know he has some problems in life, (lieing to people he cares about, hurting people he cares about and being a deceicetful little bastard) But... I've known him since ninth grade, and what he went to jail for is something that is totally not in his chacater, and I've talked with some of my other friends about it, and they agree. See, Kori has a problem with Porn. He has to have it. I know this, he knows it, hell anyone that talks to the boy knows it. Hes had it since way before he met me, so whatever. I just ignored that flaw in his chacater (makes me sound stuck up, whatever) well, I know this kid. He may have a problem ,but there are limits, like he will treat women he is not with like their are goddesses (trust me, I know first hand experience) and he will never talk bad about anyone, no matter that situation, and well, Yea, he lies, but not normally about too bad of things, and normally their such sucky lies cause he cant lie worth a shit that he gets caght in them.... now here is my problem. He is/was with Tina. Tina, is a bitch. Tina needs to stop having kids and start to take some meds. Tina has said that Kori has theartened her (which I know firsthand he wouldnt do) , and that he has been downloading child pornography, which is why he went to jail. Now, thats totally unlike his character form what I've seen of it, and I've seena lot of it. I think that boy needs some damn heavey meds to, but i could never imagine him doing that. He was/is my friend, but Tina has theaterend me and my life and my own on multiple occassions. So, on the brink of not having enough sleep and sounding parinoid, I must state, I think Tina planted it. she acts dumb, but there are smart girls out there that act dumb. Take me for an example. So.. I dont knwo if I trust it all or not.


Eh, I just want to ask him if its tru. I want him to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. And if it is true, then I say let him rot in jail, and if he is lieing to me (which sadly wouldnt be teh first time, and I hate that because I'm sick and tired of people taking advantage of one of the last honest people in the world. Freaking people) they better hope he stays in jail or ese He might end up somewhere dead. I have connections (Hey, I'm like the mafia!)

Oh, while I'm thinking about it, cause I'm really tired, I gotta tell you this funny joke from a long time ago that I probably only remember. It was the second time I had dated John, and at the time I wasnt with Chris, but he thought we were. Well anyways, It was in ninth grade and I was sitting in Choir class and I was about to cry. I praticaly was crying, but not the point. Jessica (little blondie with big boobs ) kept on asking me what was wrong and all that. I didnt tell her, so she's like "You need a body burried, jsut tell me. I will get the shovel and you point out the boy and me and him will go for a walk" And it was the FUNNIEST thing in the world. This girl is only like five four IF that. I think shes like Four something actually. Shes so tiny, and it was RIDICILOUSLY funny to see the idea of her and John going for a walk so she could kill him with the shovel and bury it. But.. she told me if I ever needed anyone burried to call her. I'm so the Mafia, I realied that. aint no body gonna mess with me on my turf

I think thats why I'm so upset when me friends are hurtng. Yes I feel t so much, but also because they are my friends and my faily. I dont have a close family. My dad and I are the closet together, and we're not that close... so It's hard for me to accept the fact that everyone isnt going to leave me. So once I do find people that I want in my life ( which is a small number, trust me) then I would do anything to protect them. I dnno.. I think the exhuastion as finally got to me. I'm crazy!

God, I'm gonna be insane today. I'm gonna laugh at everything. Woowee... this is gonna be an interesting day. I should take a shower! Lol

~Sara

Not sure how well this thingy adapted. I never adapt. Must check. Next entery will be better if it adapted.

Well, I need to work on the next part of Fais story, I still havent figured out what direction I want it to go. I think I'm gonna work on merging the ones I have in my head together, but I cant force them, thats what I have learned.

Meh, Im bored though and I need to work on getting my mind together, but I dont want to yet... I kinda dont want to think about it.

So, I found out Josh got sent to the ER and it was about his heart. Ugh, I'm so scared. I dont know what would happen if something happened to him.

So, I was looking to alot of the different options at the communities that they have out there, and I actually didn't see one for me so I'm kinda sad. I'm going to try to put a prose up here, and maybe someone will see it and think about it or something. I dunno....


So.. Maybe someone will find me hopefully... If not, than oh well.

So, now maybe and hopefully I will be here for a much longer time. I hate moving from journal to journal, but until I know what is going to happy with my old journal, I will just have to keep them both.

Not alot happened today, I just found out we have a snow day which makes me happy,so I might make a cake or something for us all to eat. I'm so hungry. I'm straving, but I have no money yet. Rawr~!

Hopefully I will have a job soon... I need the money so bad, but thats okay. Either Borders, or Chilis will call me back. Either one would be good. Chilis would be better, only because I like the tips, but I could survive ether way.

Oh, found out a plane tcket back home will only cost me 305. I'm so happy about that not gonna lie. Hopefully me and Josh will have the money soon, but hopefully I will get famous too. It would be awesome to make it famous soon. I already got one poem done, but now I just need to get my stories out there. IT would be aweoms to not have tofeel like I have to work to pay blls. Just to work because I want to, you know?

Oh well, maybe these are just a silly little girls fantasies again.

~Sara

So, I'm here, kinda just as a backup. Im not looking for much, just a place where I can keep a hold down and keep a good place to put my poetry, stories, and blah up. Nothing makes sense that comes from it, and people will look at what I say and do and never understand. I'm fine with that. no, I'm not depressive, so dont tell me I am. No, I'm not angry, cause I dont normally get angry. I just kinda stay pretty mellow.

I dont always seem like the person that I am, but I promise that I am.

Hungry.
~Sara